Resolved Question: A Prisoned Childhood, How Do You Become A Functional Adult?

I don´t know who this young woman/man is who answered there in Yahoo. But I want to say him/her, that i am very thankful to read his/her lines! My full respect for this young man/woman to oper her/his heart & let us know so many facts we never know:  Annamaria

A prisoned childhood, how do you become a functional adult?

I know people and children all around the world struggle and have hard lives and my sisters and I were always brought up to be grateful for what we have because there are still people who are worst off than us. We took our mothers advice to the extreme and we never talked about how we felt and our problems, and even when we did we were told the above and were hushed quickly.We grew up being raised by our mother (who is very cold) and a father who was always “away travelling” and also we were dragged around the globe from a young age to foreign places so we always had to learn different languages, changed schools, leave friends behind and always felt like we never fit in no matter where.When we settled in our mothers country we all went to school but were taken out shortly after to be “homeschooled” which never happened, at this point our parents split up due to many reasons including disagreement about not going to school and we lived with our religious cold mother and were not allowed to go out, make friends, go shopping, intergrate, find jobs.

Because I’m the oldest in my teenage years I jumped several times to the opportinuty of an early arranged marriage because it seemed to be the only way out of this “prison” of a life, but I always broke it off later (even disappointing families and such) because I realized it wasn’t “right” and could possibly lead to another prison situation.

Fast forward today, I changed my life by forcing myself to leap on an opportunity and leave to another country at 19, it was impuslive and a very bad and dangerous idea but when I was suffering from PTSD and left my family shortly after, my father (who kept in contact from afar) was angry and cut me out (which is fine)

This is not about me btw, just some backround, the thing is that my sisters stayed and grew up at home with my mother, who at some point got married and left them in their home to their own devices, my father ended up making a lot of money and they started spending a lot of money on games and gaming consoles, whatever they wanted but they had the same prisoned life.

Today they are 23, 21 and 19 and they pretty much still have the same life but some have reverted into a strict routine and refuse to leave, wanting to stay by my mothers side (kind of like an abusee refusing to leave an abusive situations) and others want to leave and break away the way I did.

The problem is that they all lack social skills, have lost out on schooling, and have a difficult time intergrating at this age into society, which makes them feel more alienated and broken.

I’m heartbroken, I worked in the last 6 yeas to fix up my life and through my example I believe there is hope for them but they were a lot younger when taken out of school (I finished grade 8 in a classroom) and these girls hardly were schooled their entire lives and only knew this “prison” lifestyle.

How can I help them, I want them to come and live with me, I have a safe and healthy environment for them to live with me and gain their personal freedom slowly.

I tried with one sister to take steps to slowly improve but after taking one pretty big step she is breaking down, I think she had higher expectations but I believe she still feels “broken” inside, how do I help her?

Additional Details

I do not know if my parents realize the mistakes they made but to make things worse they jump on any opportunity they can to marry the girls off believing that it is a “solution” I take an aggressive stand against marriage of any kind, they can not marry in the state that they are in, if they dont’ now who they are themselves they can not take on the burden of another human being. My mother thinks that if they get divorced it’s ok and it’s “God’s will” but I disagree. My mother never worked a day in her life and was always supported by my dad even after they separated until now, we lost all our family assets and she was forced to work making my sisters feel more indebted and grateful that she is “providing” for them in this prison of a home. One of them refuses to leave her xbox console and move out of that house, they lack exercise, sunlight and a healthy lifestyle, they’ve lost a lot of weight and bordered on anorexi

1 month ago

bordered on anorexia and I’ve heard outcries of “suicide” but my mother refuses to think there is anything wrong. I go out with them often and have them come over to my house for a day or two, so that they can see how regular life is, it is not perfect, life is hard for everyone but in their depressed mind set sometimes it is just too overwhelming to get up in the morning and they seem to have lost all motivation on life. It is very sad, I did not get to the place I am without work, I tell them that, and I worked through PTSD and I just wish they can see that there is light at the end of the tunnel

1 month ago

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One response to “Resolved Question: A Prisoned Childhood, How Do You Become A Functional Adult?

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